13 Things to make your first year of Married Life EASIER!

The first year of marriage can be a rough one, especially if you don’t live together prior to the big day. Combining households, finances and your entire lives is a huge project that nobody is talking about. So how do you make it through the first year? These are the things that have made my life easier through the first FIVE years married.  

1. Meal Planning Service (Hello Fresh, Emeals, Shelf Cooking)

When you’re combining everything and most likely both of you are working, the question “What’s for dinner?” Can be fighting words. For a long time, I would internally (or externally) sigh when Jake asked me this question before scrounging for whatever I could find in the cupboard. Then I sprung for a meal plan. I’ll be writing full reviews of my favorites very soon! 

2. A Costco membership (for gift cards) 

One of my favorite ways to save money is to snag gift cards from Costco (I personally love bulk shopping too, but that’s more due to all these kids than being married. Haha!) for date night dinners. Usually you can get them for about 25% off the price you’d pay at the store, and they offer tons of local eats. Be sure to check out their activities gift cards too if you’re needing some “get out of the house” dates. 

3. Date night boxes (or pre-designed dates) 

These have to be the best thing ever. How many times do you want to look at each other and ask “What do you want to do?” We actually bought one of the Adventure Challenge books but have yet to start it. (I mean, it’s been wild with all these kids and my being pregnant for over half our marriage). You can bet I’ll give it a review here soon, as we’re planning to start it this month. 

4. Time blocking 

This sounds like a weird thing to have on a list of ways to make your married life easier, but it’s not just a productivity tip. Timeblock your days, even if it’s just small things: Dinner at the table on Tuesday nights from 5-6pm. Friday night date night from 6-8 pm. Alone time on Thursdays from 3-4 pm. Whatever things are priorities for you, time block them into your days! 

5. A good planner system

We all love cracking open a new planner right? I love the feel and smell of new paper, but usually fall off the wagon after a few weeks because once that planner is shut… I forget everything. Over the years we’ve developed a system that includes shared Google Calendars, a Weekly Plan Wall Calendar, and the Amazon Alexa system. Everything goes into our shared google calendars, color coded. Once a week (or every other week) I sit down and fill out the weekly plan wall calendar. Then we ask Alexa to add things to our reminders, shopping lists and so on for the week. As we run out of things, we’ll use Alexa to update the shopping list. 

6. A backup plan

Let’s be honest, life doesn’t always go as planned. During my first marriage, we moved twice in the first year. Jake and I haven’t moved (yet) but we’ve been looking at houses and farmland for the past couple of years. Job changes and losses, a pandemic and two babies in under two years have all pushed off various plans. So have a backup plan: We want to do (insert thing here) but if we can’t make that happen we’ll do (insert thing) instead. The biggest example I have: Jake and I want to buy a farm, but since we haven’t been able to make that happen, we’re renting farmland from a friend so we can raise our own meat animals (and house my pet goat once he’s done with our blackberries). 

7. A minted account 

I LOVE browsing for beautiful home accents. Etsy, Amazon, and Target all have beautiful items, but they tend to show up in everyone’s homes. Recently I found out that Minted (the wedding stationary company) has expanded to home decor. This means you can keep the same vibe from your wedding stationary, all the way through the art pieces you use to decorate your home. If that’s not streamlined, I don’t know what is. 

8. Grocery pickup 

Grocery pickup became all the rage in 2020 when the pandemic kept many of us out of the physical stores. The reality is, this seemingly simple service actually saved many of us time and money. How often do you spend over an hour shopping for the week’s groceries, and leave with a cart full of God only knows what else? (Seriously, who put the tea towels in my cart again? How many tea towels is too many?). Combining grocery pickup with a meal planning service is a really quick way to give yourself extra time with your new spouse. Emeals actually connects with Walmart’s Grocery pickup app, making this whole thing a breeze. 

9. Amazon prime 

Amazon Prime is so much more than a shopping app. Yes, it makes it really easy to have everything from household goods to car parts delivered in 2-3 days. It also has plenty of entertainment (books, music, movies) for those stay at home date nights. Yes, $140 a year is a little spendy when you’re just starting out, but you’ll spend that same amount seeing 3 movies in the theater now. Never mind that it also makes it easier not to come home with another 30 tea towels when you just needed a garlic peeler. 

10. 5 minutes a day 

This is something that Jake and I tried during the pandemic. It’s not an original idea by any means, but I don’t remember who I learned it from (maybe Jordan Page? Or The Minimalist Mom? I’m not sure). The idea is that you spend 5 minutes a day cuddled up with each other and talking about your day or whatever. When Jake would get home, he would go straight into the shower (because pandemic), then before I started dinner we would take 5 minutes to sit and talk. It was a wonderful way to reconnect after being away from each other all day. We eventually made it into a 15 minute timeframe, but recently have been so busy with life that we haven’t made time for it. 

11. A sense of humor

Life is too short to be serious all the time and laughter truly is the best medicine. Jake’s favorite joke is 2+2=4, which may not seem funny here but makes our entire household crack up for whatever reason. Watch the funny movies, tell all the jokes and make sure you’re both laughing every day. 

12. “I love you because” notebook 

The “I love you because” notebook is a great way to document your first year together. (Or any year together for that matter). Find a pretty notebook and a couple of pens, then place it in a central spot where you both can access it. Each day, you both write in it completing the sentence “I love you because…” When times get hard (like they eventually do) this notebook will serve as a reminder of all the reasons you love each other. 

13. Trello or a List Making App

We live off lists in our house. Grocery lists, to do lists, dream project lists, chore lists… the lists go on. I’ve been using Trello to organize all my lists and schedules before putting things on my permanent calendars. The drag and drop cards make changing up your priorities extremely easy. Add both of you to the same account and boards so you can work together to build your dream life. 

Even if you’ve been married for years, or combined your entire lives prior to marriage, we can all benefit from a little extra time together. These resources (and many others like them) can give you the opportunity to focus on building your relationship. Who knows, you may find some new common interests on your adventures together.